Just So You Know

Sure, we all know the College Art Association Conference is being held this week in Chicago. But where exactly in Chicago? The most specific answer I could find on the conference website is on the PDF of the press release which says it’s at the Hyatt Regency, but lists no address. So I Googled it only to find two Hyatt Regencies in Chicago. One on Wacker and one at McCormick place. Incidentally McCormick place is hosting the Chicago Auto Show this weekend. I won’t hold you in suspense any longer:

The College Art Association Conference
Hyatt Regency
151 E Wacker Drive
Chicago, IL
Feb 10 – 14, 2010

I don't know, maybe I'm an idiot. Even under "Conference Hotels" while it lists the Hyatt Regency, it doesn't specify that that is thee hotel. So I just thought I'd post the address for anyone planning on attending that doesn't know where it is. Now you know. Never mind. On the endless lists of sessions it says "Hyatt Regency," so maybe you put two and two together, cross-referencing the "conference hotels" page. Whatever. As for where "Columbus GHIJ, Gold Level, East Tower" is, you're on your own. I think we're all fucked, because if it's one thing I know about intellectuals and artists, it's that practical things like way-finding are not a strong suit.

> CONFERENCE SITE

The Growing Divide

So I was at NBC.com to see if you can still watch video clips from Conan O’Brien, which you can.* I found this out after the site, which oddly still has a winter wonderland theme, finally loaded. I was doing this after talking to my mom on the phone. She said that Conan was not funny at all, and that NBC could have saved a lot of trouble if they just called her first. She described him basically the way everyone else except P.J. O’rourke describes Jay Leno. “He’s not funny,” simple, self-evident, how can you argue?

I was laughing hysterically. This was because she said, "I think it's generational. People like me, or even younger than me, don't find him funny. And I'm pretty sure that I would be very offended if I knew what all those hand gestures and codes were supposed to mean."
"What? You mean when he dances around and makes funny noises?"
"You know, he makes gestures with his hands. And he licks himself."

I told her the best thing young people have done is make older people so paranoid that they think that everything means something obscene. She said he acts like someone who should be in an adult Special Ed class to learn how to act in public. I told her he was a master of his craft.

Then I went to NBC.com and was asked to fill out a survey. The worst thing was, I was instinctively inclined to say I didn't hate a lot of stuff I do hate because I was afraid everyone would say that. NBC and the internet would be forced to admit that no one likes shitty ads or exciting content on websites and no one buys anything because of a dumb commercial forcibly interrupting the videos they are watching. If anything it turns us against said product. It is something we deal with because it could be worse. They could realize how useless it is and they could make us pay for content. I love the internet, but nowhere near the amount required to willingly and directly pay for content. I don’t know if you look at content on the internet. You are right now. It’s not that great and there’s a ton of it.

Here are some highlights from the survey:

Which of the following have you ever done at the same time?

Visited NBC.com on a computer and on a mobile device
Watched NBC TV and visited NBC.com on a computer and on a mobile device
Watched NBC TV and visited NBC.com on a mobile device
Watched NBC TV and visited NBC.com on a computer
Watched NBC on TV and read texts/emails from NBC or sent texts/emails to NBC
Watched a channel other than NBC on TV and visited NBC.com on a computer

Why do you do these activities at the same time?
My answer: Well, my friend was sending me links of Jimmy Kimmel completely owning Jay Leno and taking him off guard on Jay’s video questionnaire skit "10 at 10." You know, the one where Jimmy says, "C'mon Jay, Conan and I have kids, you only have to take care of cars."
> 10 at 10
> Jay Sylvester Clinton

Then she sent me the link to the Jimmy Kimmel episode of him doing the entire show in a spot-on imitation of Jay Leno, and a little Bill Clinton and Sylvester the Cat. Then it turned out they were re-airing that show on CBS or ABC. So I changed to that channel and watched clips of the times Conan O’Brien had skits with Jordan Schlansky on your website.
[Which I highly recommend you check out]

And finally
How much do you agree or disagree with the following statements about surveys on NBC.com?
NBC.com has more surveys than other sites
Surveys on NBC.com are annoying
Surveys on NBC.com make me visit the site less often
Surveys on NBC.com are entertaining
Obviously, I strongly agreed with the final statement

* Oddly no one has updated the site. So it claims tonight we had Eddie Murphy, Angela Kinsey & Bonnie Raitt. Tomorrow Zach Braff, Bear Grylls and Tony Bennett.
> Conan Clips
> Most Expensive Sketch (Involving a Picasso)
> Most Cherished Moments

What's the Frequency, Kenneth?

Kenneth Noland (1924–2009)
Kenneth Noland, Color Field painter extraordinaire, Post Painterly Abstractionist par excellence, died today in his home in Maine.

> ARTFORUM OBIT

"Imagine if everything that 'strikes us' were allowed to pass our lips! Not to speak of jumping off our notepads out of our desk drawers! The world would sink under the weight of casual impulses and no selection would have taken place."

010110 1110

Wed December 31, 2008, 7:41 pm: is sitting this New Year's out

Mon January 12, 2009, 9:16 pm: is disappointed, but sadly not that surprised by the Democrats and their complete and utter spinelessness.

Wed January 14, 2009, 7:17 pm: was again accidentally making great art and not realizing it.

Mon January 19, 2009, 9:26 pm: now has DTV. i.e. the converter box.

Wed January 28, 2009, 11:16 am: has a cat with the sniffles

Mon February 2, 2009, 10:24 am: that stupid groundhog

Tue February 3, 2009, 12:05 pm: would rather be looking at that book of ugly paintings from the 70s.

Sun February 8, 2009, 6:28 am: was looking for reasons to live, and it was all Jesus shit

Wed February 11, 2009, 9:33 pm: "Kantian" has officially been changed to "Kanty"

Tue February 17, 2009, 10:23 pm: is Belief in Doubt in Painting

Fri March 6, 2009, 11:31 am: Let's split the country: all the Republicans can bitch, criticize & cut taxes in their little half & everyone else will get to work & fix the other half

Fri March 20, 2009, 9:54 pm: is going by 65GRAND Saturday at 3 to hang around and talk about the end of the belief in doubt in painting.

Sun March 22, 2009, 1:26 am: no longer believes in doubting in painting.

Tue March 31, 2009, 11:13 pm: My dad sent me a pamphlet to apply for a show in San Antonio. In it is a note that says, "this is only for artists within 75mi of San Antonio. Sorry."

Mon April 6, 2009, 8:02 pm: the failure to avoid expressing is its crispy non-expression

Thu April 9, 2009, 9:52 am: lives notoriously well, responsibly

Tue April 21, 2009, 9:55 am: u need to shut up....(i'm not talkin 2 any of yall)hez messeages me like a dumb slut sayin fuk me fuk him

Mon April 27, 2009, 10:17 pm: Throbbing Gristle does it with the lights on

Thu April 30, 2009, 1:45 pm: well, the dodgy street people that are only in it for the booze are definitely planning on coming to my opening.

Sat May 2, 2009, 12:50 am: whatever. ...Cats

Tue May 5, 2009, 9:32 am: if my thesis defense was to have had a title, it would have been "Belief Then Doubt in Erik"

Sun May 17, 2009, 6:13 pm: will never have time to care.

Wed May 27, 2009, 2:58 pm: Relational Aesthetics was published on January 1, 1998.

Sat May 30, 2009, 12:40 am: Dear Jack White, should I put my Dead Weather downloads on my Raconteurs playlist, or should they get their own?

Wed June 3, 2009, 2:54 pm: Winter Is Over. (If you want it.)

Sun June 7, 2009, 9:09 pm: Life isn't over. Life is just beginning.

Sat June 13, 2009, 12:49 pm: Art Master

Sun June 21, 2009, 12:35 pm: is losing the studio.

Tue June 23, 2009, 2:23 pm: Strange Days Are Coming / Strange Days Are Here

Thu July 30, 2009, 5:14 pm: Live Aus Berlin

Sat August 1, 2009, 7:45 pm: The time is currently "of life."

Thu August 13, 2009, 3:52 pm: I don't want to leave and I can't wait to get home.

Mon August 17, 2009, 8:59 am: Smashing Pumpkins is the soundtrack of summer. (Esp. Siamese Dream and Mellon Collie & the Infinite Sadness)

Thu August 20, 2009, 8:48 am: In my inbox this morning: "Erik, Children Are Hallucinating On Tamiflu."

Thu August 27, 2009, 10:34 am: Moving has moved from "trauma", to "frustrating inconvenience" in my view on life.

Sun September 6, 2009, 12:24 am: I want what's worst for everyone.

Tue September 8, 2009, 12:14 pm: Well will you won't you want me to make you I'm coming down fast but don't let me break you

Thu September 10, 2009, 12:22 am: loves watching the people he sort of elected to represent his interests fumble through the most basic of pressing concerns with their pudgy dick fingers as they keep their secure jobs.

Fri September 18, 2009, 4:33 pm: packing up art in the "home studio" for storage. I don't have enough space to "think"

Sun September 27, 2009, 4:06 pm: Does "Sophie's World" cover Marx, Kant, Wittgenstein and Hegel? I just sold my "Complete Idiot's Guide to Philosophy" on Amazon, and now I feel even less epistemological than usual. Although no longer being at UofC takes some of that pressure off.

Sun October 4, 2009, 12:35 pm: "Thee, Beatles," luv, not "Beatles."

Mon October 5, 2009, 7:58 pm: Why are "nonetheless" and "nowhere" words, but "nolonger" isn't?

Tue October 13, 2009, 12:34 am: I have a heater pointed at my bed. My cat is lying directly in between it and me. Eventually he will face the other direction and toast his other side.

Fri October 23, 2009, 10:26 am: There is something interesting about moving through airports & how it is the most regulated & restricted zone in terms of who is allowed in & how they are monitored. And yet we all wander through these spaces aimlessly & then you come across a Harley Davidson leather apparel store next to your gate.

Sat October 31, 2009, 2:36 pm: I cannot expend any creative effort on any sort of costume.

Tue November 3, 2009, 7:31 pm: Either the world is conspiring against me or it's just a consensus of indifference. In any case the results are the same.

Tue November 17, 2009, 11:29 pm: I just received my first ever email addressed "Professor Wenzel"

Fri November 20, 2009, 4:54 pm: Cut me in quadrants, leave me in the corner.

Sun November 22, 2009, 12:00 pm: In the days when you were hopelessly poor, I just liked you more.

Sun November 29, 2009, 10:50 pm: Honey, We Can't Afford to Look This Cheap

Mon December 14, 2009, 11:57 am: REP. KITTEH (D) IS IN UR HEALTH INSHURENCE STEELIN UR PUBLIC OPSHUNZ

Sun December 20, 2009, 9:23 pm: Bah! Humbug! |:(

Wed December 23, 2009, 2:07 pm: "It's beginning to look a Lot like Christmas/All the live long day."

There Are A Number of Directions You Could go With This

At Christmas time it's hard
But when you're having fun
There's a world outside your window
And it's a world of dread and fear
Where the only water flowing
Is the bitter sting of tears
And the Christmas bells that ring
There are the clanging chimes of doom

And there won't be snow in Africa
This Christmas time

The greatest gift they'll get this year is life
Where nothing ever grows
No rain nor rivers flow
Do they know it's Christmas time at all?

Underneath that burning sun
Do they know it's Christmas time at all?


Collage by British Pop artist Peter Blake

"I'm not afraid to say that I think Band Aid was diabolical. Or to say that I think Bob Geldof is a nauseating character. Many people find that very unsettling, but I'll say it as loud as anyone wants me to. In the first instance the record itself was absolutely tuneless. One can have great concern for the people of Ethiopia, but it's another thing to inflict daily torture on the people of England. It was an awful record considering the mass of talent involved. And it wasn't done shyly it was the most self-righteous platform ever in the history of popular music." - Morrissey

Unimpressionable Youth

“Monet would be a good one to start with,” says the mother to her young son, handing him a book at the Art Institute gift shop. The boy, about eight or nine, starts looking at the book and immediately exclaims, “Awwwwww I’ve seen her stuff before!”
“His stuff.”
“It’s just that it’s so boooooring!”
The mom lets out a pronounced and exasperated sigh.
“What? What did I do?!” Says the kid in response to the mom’s extreme resignation.
“Nothing. I’m just laughing to myself.”
“Why?”
“Because I’ve never ever heard anybody say that Monet was boring before.”